Eureka!

Self love rockzzz more than Thala and Thalapathi put together.

No, nothing much. I have earlier wondered here how one can “fall out of love” and idealistically declared “If you fell out may be you never fell in, love that is.” “Who are you to comment on the divine quotient of love?” You could ask. I am a curious cat is all ye need to know. 

Now, shall we get back to the title of this post? Yes. Imagine a guy who has just fallen in love. He gushes about his gal, her paranormal beauty, artificial intelligence and hypnotic character. We all know the grundnorm, that nobody is perfect. May we make a hypothesis here that his perception is fundamentally flawed? But try telling him, he will denigrate you and your family members using words targeting their er, reproductive organs. You thought he was a mad man then, didn’t you? Hold it right there.

Fast forward. I am not mentioning the duration of time for it has to be calculated on a case by case basis. Now our guy groans like the genie inside the lamp.  He doesn’t talk about his lady love anymore. He rants. The sweet love stories sound incredibly ridiculous to him. This fellow advises a lot about the erroneous decision of falling in love and/or marrying. Separating his drunken speech from the cuss words, we can summarize his current opinion on his gal in three words “She is obnoxious.” Now you think, how can opinions change so quickly or how can someone take so long to formulate this opinion or just what the heck? But there is consistency in your thoughts, where you think, he is definitely a mad man. I digressed?

We have been already enlightened by the theory that love is a result of some chemical salsa. But you all protested ferociously then, saying love is not merely a body thing, it is also a mind thing, and all that. Yes, folks, you were right. (Finally, I am coming to the point) Mind plays tricks. No, not the maaya theory. Even better. 

PARATOXIC DISTORTION – where by one develops strange perceptions about others based on fantasy. In fact this skewed perception is the basis of the horrendous chemicals’ kuthu dance. This eventually leads us into parallel stereotyping of people in our subconscious mind even as we are looking at them. If the general definition of ‘instincts’ are anything to go by, our brain acts like a magician and pulls out a stereotyped rabbit from similar other pre-classified rabbits. 

Stretch this theory a bit more - this is why most of the pro-love cum pro-kabi kushi kabhi gam mob secretly hope to fall in love with partners who belong to the same caste, religion as theirs. Why go so far, this is why class mates and close friends fall in love easily. There is a certain amount of familiarity and cozy stereotyping coupled with paratoxic distortion which makes us come out with terms such as “perfect couple,” “soul mates” etc. And, orthodox lot, this is why arranged marriages work. (and fail miserably, in some cases) Of course there are exceptions. You see some minds are willing to break the grounds of the known. Adventurous love, indeed.

So, what was the eureka about? Well, I have just justified the cause of certain jerkiness and laziness in the name of love. Peace.

Naught

And my life is a blank sheet again,

Only this time it is pitch dark shade and not starch white,

The art of your scribble has been washed away,

By the night’s loud, long, pearly tears,

From plain to empty to the void of nothingness,

Vaccum! here I come,

Let us see who is more of a naught.

Radha and Kanha - A new beginning (cont.)

“Well, I am not sure. In your Ramavatar, I mean.”

“Go on.”

“You and your army of monkeys had to cross the ocean to rescue me and had decided to build the Sethu bridge.”

“Ahem, to rescue Sita, my wife.”

“Oh. Yes, Sita, Rama’s wife. You remember throwing in the rocks and stones into the sea in that regard?”

“Yeah…only that they sunk immediately.”

“And Hanuman and Jambavaan came up with a simple plan. They wrote your name then, “Raam” on the rocks and threw it in. Presto, they floated.”

“So?”

“Raama naama or the name of the lord had more power than the lord himself. Likewise, the phenomenon of love is more powerful than what really exists between the couple.”

“Really?” Kanha asked weakly. 

Radha bit her lips, regretting ruining a pleasant conversation, as usual. 

“So, I will find you, no matter what.”

“Ok then, pack to get to Earth.”

“Done unpacking.”

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"Radhika, come here amma, Kundu uncle wants to see your pretty face!" coaxed her mother.

Radhika alias Radhi, a mercurual Gemini, born and brought up in Mylapore, ambled across the hall. You wouldn't call her a princess or a goddess, but was she cute-looking. Definitely inelegant, but try not falling for her smug charm. 

"Here I am." She announced.

"Now, Radhika, I am your Dad's friend, would you sing for me?"

"Dad's friends are not my friends."

"Who said so? I hear you sing like a cuckoo."

"Cuckoo whistles uncle, I am an ordinary singer."

Radhika's Mother had always been irritated by this kind of honest behaviour from her daughter. What was she trying to prove? Kundu Uncle was very determined though.

"Sing for me di Radhi!"

"What? How can you call me di? Even my dad has not used it on me, do you know?"

Radhika's mother swept her 4 year old daughter from the floor and ran inside the bedroom. She came back to the hall in minutes.

"Sorry Sir, she is quite sensitive. And her attitude has always been like that."

(To be contd.)

Radha and Kanha - Earthly Love

Prelude, Disclaimer : My take on the life of a couple - Radha & Kanha. I am retaining my license to twist the mythology, with no intention whatsoever to hurt your religious sentiments. In fact, I am not even going into their magical powers. You might know their story, but the interpretation is solely mine, which renders this work a piece of fiction. And yes, the story is revealed in series.

Radha & Kanha – A new beginning

Radha and Kanha were sitting on the swing in their heavenly looking manimandapam. With two childhood friends turned lovers like these couple, one would expect a constant chatter and noise. That was not to be. 

Radha is an elegant, girlish and intelligent woman. She rested her head on Kanha’s broad shoulders, the shoulders which bore the weight of the 14 worlds. 'My Atlas,' she thought to herself. Kanha sat beside her, looking at the sky, soaking in on the beauty of the creation, his’ or not, he couldn’t care much.

If one could pull out the thoughts of the duo in a pensive, it would resemble a clear stream of water reflecting their partner’s face. They were quite proud of that image, their partner engulfing their mind like the cloud engulfs the Moon. What one would do well to remember is that, the king of the night sky is the Moon, with all his consorts and cloud is only playing its part. This interpretation seemed to nullify all the sanctity that Radha has been holding in all her life.

Interrupting the steady static, Radha burst forth, gently, “Kanhaa, I want to be born on earth.”

Kanha, smiling at her replied “We have once, and you do know what it means to go back there, don’t you, Radhe?

Radhe, that is the name that does her in. It was like a kiss on the lips, one doesn’t indulge in talking after that, after one’s tryst with perfection. Radha paused, and continued.

“I know that it is a curse. For once, I want to go there as a boon or a gift, sort of”

“And?”

“You know, I don’t want to be an avatar. I want to be born in a family, gain foothold in my life as myself and then fall in love with you and take it from there.”

“Is that not what you did, already?”

“No, I don’t remember my life without you, nobody does, in fact.”

“Oh. But you are pretty sure, you want me in your life, after all?”

“Yes.”

“Very well, then, granted. Is there anything else?”

“I don’t want to retain memories from my life as Radha.”

Kanha realized her intentions, finally and was overjoyed. He wanted to hear it from her, though.

“How do you propose to find me, amidst the human sea?”

Radha blushed, realizing his intentions. “This man I have fallen for!,” She mused.

“Do you remember building a dam, in your previous birth, Kanha?” Radha asked.

“Penultimate birth, you mean.”  Kanha corrected her.

(To be contd.)

Lost Love

When something is lost,

Something is.

When everything is lost,

Nothing is.

Sleep being death,

Wake is the resurrection;

Love being myth,

Life is the consolation.

Tiring is the word,

Patience is the way;

Heart acts the sword,

Mind remains gay.

Untangle the tangles,

My love, oh moon;

 I offer broken bangles,

Salty tears and a burst balloon,

As a token of my love,

Lost, as it may be

Still precious, pure as dove

Let it come back to me.

Torturous ol’ hope!

Keep yourself away;

Enough of being a dope,

And going astray.

Understand learn and live

Un-understand, unlearn and kill

All  recorded thoughts, only to dive

Into the void ocean and sail – to say,

When something is lost,

Something is.

When everything is lost,

Nothing is.

Veena bites dust - marital woes of a brahmin gal

I shall clarify the title first before hitting on anything fancy. The author is NOT opposed to marriage. Why is it touted as woes? Anything can be frustrating when it is stuffed on you. Why Brahmin? Now, don’t you think I’m being casteist. This is one such caste which apparently GIVES more freedom to its women and repents it anyway. (Ok, the sentence formation is bad) Why gal? Don’t even tell me that there are men in this world who are pushed into the field of marriage, if at all they are pushed, that is in the outward direction what with the women these days setting a 1 Lakh (per month) + 3 BHK lower limit slab for their prospective grooms.  If the last sentence irked you, I know that you are a male, or a female with a son with a salary less than the slab set. If you are an unmarried female, you know that it is an amazing tactic cleverly planned by some rich, intelligent female ancestor of yours, which delayed her marital drama for a considerable period of time.

Now, to the perils of society where male-domination has reached the saturation-point. I have interacted with women from various castes, upper, lower and middle (Societal classification, not the author’s) The first and the last actually suffer more when it comes to marriages. When it comes to the rich and spoilt, you know, most don’t mind. Marriage is a business transaction. But with the lower strata people, the story takes a grave turn. On most occasions they are the first graduates of their community. If you inquire them more, more often than not they like what is being done to them. They love being the asses, when the village wants to marry it off to please the rain God. They like to be used up and lead. They gossip a lot, but there are hardly any cases of divorce. Either they are unaware of such a concept or they can’t come to terms with it. Conclusion, the real victims are the middle class folks. The more conservative they are, the worse it gets.

You compare it with your own life. The riches, material and intellectual have been there for the taking. Next to religion, academics has been your foremost and often made the only priority in life. You are taught to sing and dance and paint and stitch and chant. You are given a free pass to select your favourite course in the most famous/expensive college, irrespective of it being located a couple of continents away. Why not, your great grandfather was a postgraduate himself. You are brought up to be one step ahead of everyone in your class/group/society. You have this freedom of speech which in my opinion is not something all your peers enjoy. Importantly, your gender doesn’t attract discrimination as long as you are a daughter or sister.

Suddenly you hit 21. I meant the age. Your planetary state becomes more important than your state of happiness. Your yellowed horoscopes are taken plenty of photocopies of and mailed/distributed randomly. If only Bhagath Singh was so helped by your parents, you think the whole of India would have known how to make bombs. Your traditional-looking photographs smile dumbly in all the matrimonial sites. When you argue that you are not up to marriage, a pause, now, your parents rue their destiny. They quote ancient Sanskrit scholars and the revered Manu whom you either don’t care for or think is a misogynist cum male chauvinist.

They wonder why they LET you study so much and earn so so much. They blame their planetary states and think they have sinned a lot in their previous births. They subtly hint that you should not fall in love by saying things like “We have brought you up as a good daughter;” “We have trust in your inherent capacity forcibly built by us to not fall in love;” “The God we trust in will never let you drift and make you marry a monkey, oops, man.” They promise to filter the prospective grooms and let you zero in on the final first choice ISI-ed Brahmin boy doing trikala sandhyavandanam and earning a few millions, so that you get to feel that you selected the guy and not them. Hail democracy.

They help you build and intellect with so much love, affection and diligence. When you run the trailer of its development, they are scared and emotionally blackmail you. Retirement, parent’s duty, societal pressure, woman’s obnoxious shelf life and what not. Funny enough, your mother was a rebel herself, but she has compromised on her cause and come a long way. Why? Finally you are enlightened about the ultimate truth of life – “A woman is born to nurture a family and rear children.” You could have stopped studying at 8th standard, for all I know.

நல்லதோர் வீணைசெய்தே - அதை

நலங்கெடப் புழுதியில் எறிவதுண்டோ?

சொல்லடி, சிவசக்தி! - என்னை

சுடர்மிகும் அறிவுடன் படைத்துவிட்டாய்,

வல்லமை தாராயோ, இந்த

மாநிலம் பயனுற வாழ்வதற்கே?

Falling out of love?

This is an era of infidelity. Earlier we thought it was an alien concept, one discussed in shady movies with shadier names. Then it was considered to be a behavior patented by people who have not had the best of upbringings. Finally, we see it everywhere.

People who vehemently support “arranged marriages” blame love for it. It does make you giggle, eh? Ok, what they mean by this, as I understand, is that, those who fall in love prior to marriage/s are more likely to be infidels. Fair enough. But then, what is infidelity? Rather, where is the germ of infidelity supposed to reside, in the mind or the body? If it were in the mind, marrying X when in love with Y amounts to infidelity. If it is the latter, need I even say?

You may think that life is all rosy for a couple in love who duly marry each other, with or without parents’ support/blessing, after n years of courtship, understanding and constant periods of muted struggle. Shockingly, it is not the case. Why? As easily as a man or a woman falls in love, they fall out of love.

Well, may be not so easily or quickly. It does seem like a slow death. Being married, in a way pressurizes them to keep the spark of love alive, somehow, I used to think. But the mere sight at the entrance of Family Courts is dejecting. Uppu peradha vishayathukku oru sandai, adukku oru divorce. Being “only in love” makes the closing ceremony spectacularly uncomplicated to snap, couples say after a comprehensive-break-up. How is being in love any different from being married, as far as the ones who are concerned?

For all the sermons on moral depravity, mental maturity and mummifying love’s eternal sanctity, I don’t find the problem resting with these - whether it is an arranged marriage or not, or there is an act of infidelity involved or not. The issue is stark. Gone are the days where we could claim, “once in love, always in love” (with the same person, i.e) proudly. We are falling out of love, surely and slowly. Like a friend once quipped, “I don’t feel loved the way I should be.” Who is to be blamed here? The one who doesn’t love or appears so, or the one who feels unloved or imagines so? All of us are the products of great expectations. So I say, these are difficult times. Guard yourselves or run amok.